


Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

by faithinthepoor



Series: Glee [26]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during A Very Glee Christmas</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [I’m Not That Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640810), [It Sucks to be Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640836), [Kiss Me Goodbye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640850), [We All Have Sorrow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640862), [I’m Not Myself Lately](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640884), [I Ain’t the Worst You’ve Ever Seen](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640900), [I Know That I’ve Got Issues](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640908), [You’ll Never See What You’ve Done to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641365), [Everyone Must Stand Alone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641370), [I Should Be Happy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641377), [Every Now and Then I Fall Apart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641387), [I Wish That I Had Jesse’s Girl](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641391), [I Dreamed That God Would Be Forgiving](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641394), [I Don’t Want To Be Friends](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641401), [I’m a Loser Baby](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641414), [I Sometimes Wish I’d Never Been Born At All](http://archiveofourown.org/works/641422), [I Don’t Wanna Think Anymore](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951407), [I Am Stronger Than Yesterday](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951449), [Can You Hear Me Praying?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951482), [If I Lost You Would I Cry?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951506), [I’ve Got to Keep Control](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951545), [I’m Living a Teenage Dream](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951581), [I'm Like, Forget You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951644), [My Eyes Will See Only You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951707) and [Stop Making a Fool Out of Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1951761)

As a shoe is thrown at them she is once again forced to wonder why Mr Schue is allowed to run the glee club. In a way she knows that the answer to the question is the same answer that explains many a tragedy- that someone has decided that near enough is good enough. Some would say that a director who has no qualifications in music and a sketchy track record when it comes to results in competitions but likes to sing and dance is a least a pragmatic choice given no one else wants the gig. Quinn is not one of those people. She does not feel that a pragmatic choice is the same as a decision made by default.

Most of the time they manage to stumble on despite his presence and his never ending desire to teach them life lessons. She has stopped pondering why a man whose life is falling apart feels he is a position to teach them anything about life and has decided that on this issue she is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, just maybe, he wants them to learn from his mistakes and give them a chance of not ending up a divorced Spanish teacher who spends a creepy amount of time with teenagers. This is probably way too generous an assessment of the situation but it is the season for generosity and Quinn is not immune to the seductive call of the holiday period.

Christmas is something special and Quinn really needs something special given what is going on in her life. She had decided that she was through with Rachel only to learn that Rachel and Finn were finally over. The timing simply could not have been worse and she feels very for conflicted. She doesn’t want to be Rachel’s fall back option but she hates the idea that she might be missing a major window of opportunity. Christmas is not the time to focus on such things; it’s a time to focus on wonder and magic. Christmas had the glee club working together to decorate a tree. Sure it was a tree of dubious origin and the decorations came to them as a product of looting, if not home invasion, an act which was itself a by-product of a murder but that’s not the point. The point was that they were all together, regardless of their beliefs or creed, and were working to make their little tree a symbol of the season. They were happy and they were a team, they were everything that New Directions could and should be. Naturally Schue didn’t see any of that and had to find a way minimise their achievements and create a Christmas moment that was in his own image.

As a result they find themselves carolling their way through classrooms. Quinn didn’t have to be prescient to know that they would get their asses handed to them on a plate but her protests about their safety fell on deaf ears. She shouldn’t be surprised – Schue doesn’t care if they are emotionally harmed why would physical danger be any different? She wishes he could have seen what their act of acquiring and decorating a tree together really meant but then the fact that they were bonded and working together would never be enough for Schue. After all what would a lesson in teamwork and tolerance be if he didn’t orchestrate it? He had to come up with his own project and in doing so he made Quinn feel like he had kicked her in the teeth.

He chose to put their lives in danger in order to show them that there are homeless kids who don’t even have a purloined tree to decorate. On the surface it sounds noble. Like all of Schue’s assignments it has face validity but it lacks depth. Recognizing the less fortunate is important and is in keeping with the Christmas spirit but being asked to raise money for homeless youths when not so long ago one of their own was effectively homeless seems unbelievably insensitive. Schue didn’t even bother to give lip service to Quinn’s ordeal or the fact that members of the glee club had offered her shelter and kept her out of such places. She doesn’t know if he has forgotten about her plight or is just ignoring it because he is frustrated that he didn’t think to organise a benefit concert for her.

Part of Quinn can’t believe that she has to sing for the homeless when no one sang for her but most of her is happy that Schue never managed to turn her into a pity project. She knew singing to the student body in the smaller setting of class rooms would not go well. She also knows that Schue made sure that didn’t have a chance in this battle. They are ill prepared, there is no polish to their performance, and the whole thing is saccharine and twee. She can completely understand why their audience are yelling their disapproval and knows that her first slushy of the day will come quite early but even Quinn is surprised when they start throwing footwear. Shoe throwing is almost always uncalled for, it’s only acceptable if you are too gay to function and singing Beautiful but sadly life is not a Lindsay Lohan movie and Quinn is forced to admit that the students of McKinley High have some significant anger management issues.

It didn’t occur to her at the time people were hurling abuse at them but life would be a lot easier if she were Brittany. When Quinn learned that Brittany still believed in Santa she mocked her just like everyone else but she also felt jealous. Brittany possesses a level of innocence that Quinn wishes she had. Come to think of it Quinn is pretty sure that even as a small child she was not as naïve as Brittany is now. Quinn’s days of believing in Santa where short lived and she used to think that spoke to her superior intelligence and reasoning but maybe all it means is that she was just jaded and cynical long before she ever should have been. She still suspects that Brittany eats paste and probably shouldn’t be in the main stream schooling program but she could do with being just a little bit more like Brittany.

She protests and rolls her eyes in the way that is expected of her but she has to admit that she feels a small thrill when Artie requests that they all go to see the mall Santa. Watching Brittany talk about elf rights does nothing to convince Quinn that Brittany doesn’t need testing but it doesn’t stop her from going through with Artie’s plan. She even sits on Santa’s disturbingly warm lap and asks to have something done about her stretch marks. It is a reasonable request and it’s not like she can ask Santa for what she really wants. A fat guy in costume who can’t get a job where he making more than minimum wage is not going to be able to do the impossible and bring Rachel back to her.

Whilst a little disturbing on some levels, the desperate attempt to keep Santa alive for Brittany makes her feel connected to her fellow glee club members as does their combined dysphoria over the destruction of their tree and theft of the presents. It is that sense of camaraderie that makes her agree to cut off her hair. Even as she held the scissors up she felt that it was a ridiculous gesture – after all she, like all of the girls, totally has a watch that she could sell. Schue’s intervention does come as a welcome intrusion in this instance right up until he has the hide to start lecturing them about the true meaning of The Gift of the Magi. At that point she would have happily shaved off every single strand of hair on her head just to shut him up. 

It took all of her willpower not to tell him that this was all his fault and that if he hadn’t have insisted they perform poorly rehearsed carols then none of this would have happened. She manages to stay silent but it’s not for him, it’s for the group. They believe in him which makes her think that Brittany is not the only one who needs testing. She is glad that her misplaced faith in him did not blow up in her face and the group got to experience the moment where they thawed the hearts of the faculty. She will even admit that trimming the Sue Sylvester provided tree may have been a little more enjoyable than their fist attempt at tree decorating but it’s possible that she is being blinded by a few other things that happened at Mr Schue’s.

She spent the evening with the people who mean the most to her in the world and she didn’t once think about how much her life sucks. She even volunteered to plate the desserts and was delighted when Rachel offered to help her. If it wasn’t Christmas she would have been more concerned with how little help Rachel actually provided. Rachel disappeared almost immediately and when she did return to the kitchen she was decidedly skittish. 

Quinn was about to call Rachel on her behaviour when Rachel produced a package from behind her back, “This is for you.”

She looked down at the ornately wrapped gift and could only say, “I wouldn’t have thought you would do Christmas presents.”

“What makes you think it’s not a Hanukah gift?”

“I guess that was a little presumptuous of me but really I’m just surprised that I am getting a gift at all.”

“Well,” Rachel shrugged, “I got it before everything went…. well you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Quinn affirmed sadly.

“I know things are different know but I still wanted you to have it.”

With Rachel words the gift had suddenly metamorphosised into a relic from a time that no longer exists and the lump that formed in Quinn’s throat made it difficult to swallow, “Thank you.”

“It’s ok. You don’t have to open it if you don’t want to.”

Her emotional turmoil had clearly been read as hesitation, “No. I want to open it. Are you sure you want to be here?”

Rachel nodded and Quinn proceeded to unwrap her present. She wanted to preserve the paper but her fingers were shaky and it ripped. She suppressed her disappointment and instead focused on the gift itself. A set of small blue eyes looked back her. She was holding a silver frame housing a portrait of an infant. “Is this her?”

Rachel stepped closer to Quinn, “Shelby wasn’t pleased to hear from me and she really didn’t think it was a good idea for you to have it but I can be very persuasive.”

“Well you certainly can be hard to ignore,” Quinn can picture the version of emotional water torture that Shelby must have gone through before relenting.

“Do you like it?”

“Of course I do,” Quinn was surprised by the force of her words. 

“I wasn’t sure. I know you try to act like it didn’t happen but I can’t believe you don’t ever think about her.”

“It’s lovely,” Quinn replied and she really meant it. “Although I have to admit I thought you’d be the homemade frame type.”

“I did make you one but all things considered I thought you’d prefer a less personalised version,” Rachel gestured towards the item in Quinn’s hand.

Quinn could picture the frame that Rachel would have made and although it would have included more glitter and stars than Quinn could stand she was still sorry that she didn’t have it. She was determined not to let such thoughts ruin the moment though, “Thank you so much.”

“Do I get a thank you hug?”

“Rachel you really don’t need to ask for such things.”

“Good to know,” Rachel replied as she wrapped her arms around Quinn’s neck. Quinn felt a nose trace its way up her neck and then Rachel whispered in her ear, “If there was mistletoe handy I would be kissing you right now.”

Quinn covered Rachel’s lips with her own and then told her, “You don’t need to wait for mistletoe.”

Rachel’s eyes were positively glowing, “Are we ok then?”

“I’m sure that will be,” Quinn replied.

“You know, I could stay like this forever,” Rachel said as she tightened her grip on Quinn.

“I doubt that.”

“You’re wrong,” Rachel was vehement.

“I’m fairly certain that Mercedes will come in here to kill us soon if we keep denying her her dessert.”

“That’s so true,” Rachel sounded defeated but she had not let go of Quinn. In fact when Quinn put the picture down and turned her attention to the food Rachel simply changed her grip so that she was standing behind Quinn with her arms around her waist.

“That’s not helping Rachel.”

“It’s helping me to feel better.”

Quinn stood still and allowed herself a moment to enjoy the sensation; she then peeled Rachel’s arms from her waist. Rachel quickly went back in for another hug but Quinn waved a knife at her, “Not until we are done with the food.”

They managed to complete there task and returned to feed the group only to find that they were entering an impromptu sing-along. They placed the plates on the table and then turned to stand at the back of the group, their arms touching. Quinn laced her fingers through Rachel’s and tried to dial down the manic smile that threatened to take over her face. Artie may have walked today but he is not the only one who experienced a Christmas miracle.


End file.
